Happy Mother's Day... to me :)

So, last Sunday was Mother's Day! I know I am not official yet, BUT I do think that I should get SOME recognition for the fact that I am carrying around a little human being in my tummy. So, since they do not yet have a "Human Incubator Day," I gladly relished in the numerous wishes I received last week to "have a happy mother's day!!" For the first time, I got "Mother's Day" gifts. One from my mother in law (a beautiful diamond heart necklace and some yummy, very clean smelling soap and lotion, which is really nice since I still can't really wear my old perfume... I think it is too strong or too closely associated with morning sickness memories for me or something!!!) Anyway, I also got a rose bush from my mom that we can plant in order to commemorate Pip's life. It is neat to think that when Pip turns one, it should be producing a beautiful pink rose called "the Mother's Rose." It will look like this:

In any event, I thought it was a VERY sweet gift and I hope beyond hope that I don't manage to kill it (as I suspect I may already have!! If there is one thing I did not inherit from my mother, it is her green thumb!) I also got a card from Pip (via Will) urging me to go to Glen Ivy... twist my arm :) They do offer Maternity Massages there... I am so excited!! We also got my first official "Mother's Day" picture take at church (Will took all of the photos this year... this is a "not so official" one that makes me laugh!

All in all, Mother's Day was pretty great (the presents are fun!) but it is also a good time for me to really process the fact that I am going to be someone's MOM!!! It is almost as though that has NOT sunk in with me quite yet. For the rest of my life, I may not even be known as Jessica anymore but more so as "Pip's Mom." It is nutty! It makes me think a lot about my own mom. WARNING-This is about to get a bit setimental and mushy so, if you are not the type, please feel free to stop reading here :)

I guess I am beginning to realize how much I want to be like my mom with Pip. Sure, there are some things I will do differently but, on the whole, I think I was so lucky to grow up with the parents that I had. I got to see my mom this weekend in Sacramento for my sister-in-law's shower (another post, I am sure!) and it was so nice to just chat with her. One of my favorite parts of the weekend was sitting in the airport waiting to leave and just talking with my mom as we stared out over the tarmac and drank our starbucks together. I asked lots of questions... mostly about childbirth. What it was like for her, etc. I also asked questions about who SHE thought I was more like, her or dad. Although I am DEFINITELY my father's daughter, there are some traits of my mom's that I have inherited. I know there are times when I say something (especially like when I yell at the TV during a sports game or the way I talk to the kids at church) when I stop and think to myself, "I AM my mother!!" It is odd! I also think I got some of her creativity and love of order (all things that seem to have kicked in later in life). Like my mom, I really enjoy being around kids and feel like serving them is part of who I am.

There are some things about my mom I have NOT inherited, however. Many are things I would like to work on or really want to emulate better.... For example, I am not as gracious as my mom. I don't have the patience she does with people that clearly annoy me. My mom seems to be one of the most forgiving women that I know. Also, I don't think you can beat her hospitality. I know plenty of people that open up their home to others, but nobody does it like my mom! It isn't a show or a chance to show the world how close she is to Martha Stewart (which, she is!! We have been eating cornish game hens since I was in jr. high and we have always had one of the nicest yards around... that is my mom!!) but rather just a chance to invite someone into our world. Even holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving are not exclusive to the Young family... my mom will invite over nearly anyone who needs a place to go. She is also really good and getting gifts and cards into the mail, ON TIME! Something I am pitiful at accomplishing!!

Another thing I love about my mom... HER love of the holidays (another trait thatI have inherited). She goes after the holidays with gusto. Our house is always decorated from floor to ceiling but never overdone. She values tradition and the spirit of the day. She manages to take in the holidays and forget the commercial hype. I love that about her.

She is always put together. I don't think she EVER goes out of the house without makeup (which I admire about her!) She makes my friends feel comfortable and her family feel loved. She gives and probably sacrifices for us more than I will ever completely know or understand. She taught us early on how to love Jesus not just by TELLING us about Him but showing us how to be more like Him. She loves and cares about people. She sticks up for the people she cares about but isn't afraid to tell you when she thinks YOU might be in the wrong (a quality I HATED in high school but have now come to appreciate). She seeks harmony and peace in her home and with her friends. She is and has been a great mother. In so many ways, I want to be more like her.

So often, I think Pip is a girl... and it scares the daylights out of me! It will be fun at first, frilly dresses and tea parties. But then I think about 15 years from now and I am PARALYZED with fear. Today, however, I let my imagination drift past 15 years, onto 20 or even 30 years from now and I had to smile. I figure if I can be a mom like mine has been and my daughter is someday asking ME questions about life and childbirth as she anticipates starting a family of her own, as we stare out over the tarmac drinking coffee together, I cannot imagine any other kind of success in my life greater than that. And maybe, just maybe, she will reflect back and think to herself that she wants to be a lot like me (and like her grandma!) too as she starts her family. And then I think that having a little girl might not be so bad afterall.

Our Child- the Troublemaker...

It is official... our child takes after his/her dad (although, some might argue it is mom that is being imitated, but I will stick with the former :) I know it has been a while since I have blogged and a lot has happened in the past several weeks... one event seems to stick out in my mind though as pivotal and flat-out frightening. It all started at my 20 week appointment...

...everything was going great. I weighed in (+11 lbs since my first appointment. I wanted to be at 10 but it is close enough, I suppose!) Then, we started discussing my AFP test (a test that detects chromosonal abnormalities that I was hesitant to take because I had heard a lot about false positives and I really didn't think it would change much anyway, but we took anyway) and that all of that had come out normal... all was going very well. Then, Lynn tried to find the heartbeat. It wasn't any different than the first two times when she found it swishing right away. EXCEPT this time, it was silent. There were occassional swishes (that usually indicate kicks or movement) but nothing that resembled a heart beat. Lynn kept trying and I asked her if she was worried. Not yet was her reply. She kept looks and pressing on my belly but we couldn't get it. She mentioned that everything else looked right on schedule for 20 weeks but the fact that it took so long to find it was a little troubling. After several grouling minutes, she decided to whisk us into the ultrasound room. I wasn't sure what to think. Part of me was certain everything was fine... afterall, I had been feeling Pip move around for weeks now (and getting more and more sure of what felt like kicking versus rolling, etc.) but then part of me could not help but be concerned. I began to worry that maybe I had been making it all up, or that it had all been in my head. I just remember lying down on that table and praying that we would not see a lifeless little being on the screen next to me. I could not even imagine the horror. Will was so good throughout the whole thing. He held my hand, kissed my forehead and tried to reassure me that everything was going to be just fine. I am SO glad that he was there.

In just moments, Lynn had lubed up my belly and stuck the wand on it. Right away she said "Well, there's your baby!" My first question was "where is the heartbeat?" After just a second, we saw it. A beautiful four-chamber heart just beating away. I was so relieved and so overwhelmed at the sight of my child that I didn't even know what to think. It was all so unbelievable! We weren't even supposed to have an ultrasound for another week or two and here we were, SEEING Pip for the very first time. It was amazing!

It turns out Pip was hiding behind my placenta and seems to be doing just fine. Lynn was great and let us look for quite awhile before putting the wand away. Unfortunately, there was no way to take pictures on that machine but, of course, Pip's daddy ALWAYS has his camera on him so he was able to get some shots of Pip's big moment. The hardest part was probably when Lynn asked us if we were certain that we didn't want to know Pip's gender. Part of me was dying to find out. I asked her if she could tell and she coyly said no but I get the impression she could (could this mean blue in our future?) But I am certain that if we can get through the NEXT ultrasound (our official one on the 30th) then we may be able to stick with the plan.
We all did agree at this point that Pip is, indeed, a trouble maker!! Even Lynn called Pip a brat. Will and I could not agree more. He/she already gave us quite a scare and a brief glimpse into how scary this parenting thing is really going to be. Since Thursday, I spend more time than ever thinking about this baby. Maybe it has to do with finally SEEING Pip or maybe it is just the realization that I am so emotionally invested in this little being already. Either way, I have a feeling parenthood is going to be just like Thursday was... a mix of the most amazing and miraculous things I have ever been a part of in my life. Both terrifying and wonderful.

Of course, the day was well documented... here are some quick shots (that you can also find on the parris-studios blog as well) so that you can get a feel for the big day. Enjoy :)