So, I am beginning to realize that I am amassing quite a collection of blog stalkers so I think it is time I work on being more diligent with my posting. I think my problem is that I began to actually think about being productive at WORK again (what a sad distraction :) I will try to be more faithful to PIP's blog in the future!
It is hard to believe it has been two weeks since we heard Pip's heart swishing away for the first time. The last two weeks since then have been pretty miserable though. My "morning sickness" has been on overdrive. The migraines have been the worst but I bet if you asked Will, he would say the GAS is his least favorite (what a trooper he is!)
So, here is the latest on all that encompasses Pip's possession of my body:
Cravings: Still want chinese food from time to time, pizza always and, right now, the blueberry muffins I just saw on TV (with LOTS of butter on them)
Food Aversions: Still chocolate (somewhat) but I managed to choke down two pieces of Sheila's oh-so-yummy chocolate cake at book club the other night and I had a cup of hot chocolate today... maybe chocolate and I have made amends?
Morning Sickness: As of the last 36 hours, I THINK I may be past the worst of it! After staying home on Monday because I was just miserable, I think I may have come through the other side. It is amazing when you can brush your teeth without gagging!! I had forgotten what that feels like! I have had a couple of small waves of nausea but NOTHING compared to the last 4 weeks or so. I LOVE THE SECOND TRIMESTER!!!
Other symptoms: I think I am showing... I know there is more bloat than of baby about it right now but I SWEAR when I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a store window as I walk past, I see more belly than anything (which is truly a bummer since I am FINALLY filling out my little B-cups... poor things have been overshadowed already!) I can still fit into my Ann Taylor Loft size 4 pants (for the next two or three days anyway) but I most definitely have the dreaded "muffin top" effect where my gut hangs out over the TOP of my pants... not terribly attractive. My sad realization today was that being a NON-muffin top may very well be a thing of the past for me!! I have even had two people mention my "pooch" in the past week... and they were not even people I would consider to be close friends. Oh well, surely Pip is worth it! Another (more fun) symptom lately has been my keen sense of smell. It doesn't always have a positive outcome BUT seeing as how it is spring around here, I am quite enjoying it! When I open the back door of our place, I can immediately smell the strong aroma of the jasmine that has taken over the FRONT DRIVE of our complex. I also noticed the overpowering smell of orange blossoms almost the entire time we were at Disneyland last week. Beautiful!
More and more people are finding out about PIP and that is always fun. We had a great time with the extended fam this weekend when we went up to Moorpark for Jenny's shower (Jenny, my cousin, is due in April) They all know now. Will has also told a couple more of his good friends that live far away like childhood friend, Travis, and college roomie, Dallas. Today, I got to talk to college pal (and DC groupie) Stephanie. Turns out, PIP is going to have a playmate, cause Steph is preggers too and due the week AFTER Pip! So exciting!
Well, I think I am going to test my theory and see how chocolate and I get along... we have a stash of girlscout cookies in the fridge. I will keep you all posted :)
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
Symptoms, cravings and weird food aversions
So, it is probably the most common question I get from people once they find out we are pregnant (and, "so, were you trying?" What kind of rude question is that anyway? Does it really matter? WE ARE HAVING A BABY!) They usually ask a question that is much more tame and kind.
How are you feeling?
The reality is that, most of the time, I feel terrible. I seem to feel nauseous all the time. The term "morning sickness" is terribly misleading since I seem to feel this way most of the day. In fact, I actually feel best in the morning. It seems to be when I am least nauseous and have the most energy. As long as I eat, I feel better. If I don't, the nausea sets in pretty fast. About mid-afternoon, I tend to feel really tired and then really queasy. I feel worst, however, at night. It usually sets in after dinner. I guess that is better than trying to muttle through work though with this nausea.
The good news is that I have only thrown up once, and that was by accident. As usual, I fight puking with everything I have... mind over matter! I have had this fear that once I throw up, my body will begin to feel like I need to throw up every time the nausea sets in. Two Fridays ago, the inevitable happened. I slept in and didn't get a chance to eat much before I left for a hair appointment. I choked down a banana on my way out the door. I got a great haircut and left feeling fine, just very hungry. By the time I got myself a sandwich, I was feeling worse than usual. Usually, when I am feeling sick, I can go outside, get some fresh air and feel better. So, I sat outside to eat my sandwich. As I was taking a sip of water, it went down the wrong tube and I began to cough. That was the end of that. I threw up immediately. Let's just say that a new haircut (that is very layered and hits right at your chin) does not mix very well with morning sickness!! But, thank God, that has been my only actual puking experience and I am optimistic that it will be my last (just as I hope that all of this nausea is done with in the next couple of weeks as I move OUT of the first trimester!)
I also feel tired A LOT! Exhausted is probably a better way to put it. I know that I am usually a pretty tired person but I think most of that has to do with the lifestlye that we lead. We are out pretty often and stay up pretty late. These days, however, I am lucky if I can stay awake on the couch later than 8:30. Shows I used to be addicted to, I now fall asleep watching. I am hoping my energy comes back a bit too in the next couple of weeks.
As for cravings, at first it was Chinese (which actually sounds really good to me right now too!) I think it is the spicy stuff I want. For the first time in my life, I am using tabasco sauce on everything from soup to eggs. Mexican sounds good too, as does pizza. Most things sound pretty good to me these days, with one notable exception, chocolate. I have a TERRIBLE aversion to it (which stinks when you have just receieved your order of girl scout cookies that you felt obligated to buy from each scout in our church!) The smell of chocolate alone right now is really terrible to me. Sadly, I think I have only had 3 or 4 pieces of the See's candy chocolates that mom and dad got us for Valentine's Day. It is awful! I definitely think that I crave salty more than sweet (which, they say, indicates BOY rather than GIRL, but who knows!)
Maybe I will get my love of chocolate back in the next couple of weeks as well but, for now, I think I will go find something salty to snack on. :)
How are you feeling?
The reality is that, most of the time, I feel terrible. I seem to feel nauseous all the time. The term "morning sickness" is terribly misleading since I seem to feel this way most of the day. In fact, I actually feel best in the morning. It seems to be when I am least nauseous and have the most energy. As long as I eat, I feel better. If I don't, the nausea sets in pretty fast. About mid-afternoon, I tend to feel really tired and then really queasy. I feel worst, however, at night. It usually sets in after dinner. I guess that is better than trying to muttle through work though with this nausea.
The good news is that I have only thrown up once, and that was by accident. As usual, I fight puking with everything I have... mind over matter! I have had this fear that once I throw up, my body will begin to feel like I need to throw up every time the nausea sets in. Two Fridays ago, the inevitable happened. I slept in and didn't get a chance to eat much before I left for a hair appointment. I choked down a banana on my way out the door. I got a great haircut and left feeling fine, just very hungry. By the time I got myself a sandwich, I was feeling worse than usual. Usually, when I am feeling sick, I can go outside, get some fresh air and feel better. So, I sat outside to eat my sandwich. As I was taking a sip of water, it went down the wrong tube and I began to cough. That was the end of that. I threw up immediately. Let's just say that a new haircut (that is very layered and hits right at your chin) does not mix very well with morning sickness!! But, thank God, that has been my only actual puking experience and I am optimistic that it will be my last (just as I hope that all of this nausea is done with in the next couple of weeks as I move OUT of the first trimester!)
I also feel tired A LOT! Exhausted is probably a better way to put it. I know that I am usually a pretty tired person but I think most of that has to do with the lifestlye that we lead. We are out pretty often and stay up pretty late. These days, however, I am lucky if I can stay awake on the couch later than 8:30. Shows I used to be addicted to, I now fall asleep watching. I am hoping my energy comes back a bit too in the next couple of weeks.
As for cravings, at first it was Chinese (which actually sounds really good to me right now too!) I think it is the spicy stuff I want. For the first time in my life, I am using tabasco sauce on everything from soup to eggs. Mexican sounds good too, as does pizza. Most things sound pretty good to me these days, with one notable exception, chocolate. I have a TERRIBLE aversion to it (which stinks when you have just receieved your order of girl scout cookies that you felt obligated to buy from each scout in our church!) The smell of chocolate alone right now is really terrible to me. Sadly, I think I have only had 3 or 4 pieces of the See's candy chocolates that mom and dad got us for Valentine's Day. It is awful! I definitely think that I crave salty more than sweet (which, they say, indicates BOY rather than GIRL, but who knows!)
Maybe I will get my love of chocolate back in the next couple of weeks as well but, for now, I think I will go find something salty to snack on. :)
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Christmas Morning... well, kinda
Today was the big day... my first REAL appointment with my midwife. In some ways it feels like it has taken forever to get to this point. In other ways, it does almost feel like just yesterday I was calling around to figure out my insurance coverage and find a suitable healthcare provider. My insurance pretty much sucks to start off. I think Dwight Schrute is responsible. I won't go into it, but it is frustrating, to say the least (and having this baby could cost us more than I ever actually anticipated... but it will be worth it, no doubt!) I have always really wanted to have a midwife. I love the personal relationship and bedside manner that they seem to have. I also really like the idea of having someone that would be there for more of my labor than just the last 5 minutes. Plus, I would like to explore doing this with as little (maybe even no) medication as possible and I think that Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are much more open to that idea. The drawbacks of finding a midwife, however, were pretty big. The biggest being that most midwives deliver either at a birthing center or at your home. Even though I really don't think having a baby in a hospital is all that appealing, it sure is better than my kitchen floor (I am not sure I could cook in my home ever again after that!) and the idea of having a neo-natal unitl close by was preferred. So, when I found out about Lynn Hanson, a CNM that has hospital privileges at Orange Coast Memorial in Fountain Valley, I was pretty sure I wanted to meet with her. Plus, she is delivering my friend's baby this month (and I am her birth coach) so it will be like having a "dry run."
After a VERY healthy breakfast at McDonald's, we were off to meet the midwife. I met Lynn for the first time one month ago today. She is so great and incredibly friendly. She takes lots of time to answer my ridiculous questions and I feel like she is genuinely invested in us. Today, Will got to meet Lynn for the first time... he also got to experience his first pap-smear (second-hand, luckily for him!!!!) He was obviously very excited for this day though. He asked several questions leading up to today, like whether or not there was a speaker on it so that we would all be able to hear the heartbeat. He also brought his camera along to document the day. Not ALL of the day (I forbade pictures in the office. Those paper vests are flattering and all but, no thank you!!!) But he did capture these pics in the waiting room.
After weighing in (+2 lbs) my initial exam and asking questions about my new friend, the migrane headache, along with other such inquiries, we got to the moment of truth...
I had been preparing myself for weeks. I knew that there was a chance that we might not be able to hear the heartbeat yet since it is still a little early (and I think I am a week behind my due date). Our life group was praying specifically that we would not only hear the heartbeat but hear it right away. Even so, I had prepated myself for some disapointment. I had even planned to ask her to keep looking, even if she was ready to give up.
She pulled out the wand, stuck it on my belly and never even had to move it. Immediately we heard it... the most amazing thing in the world. The sound of little Pip's heart swooshing away at about 160 beats per minute. So crazy!! Will and I both got a little teary and she kept it there for what seemed like a very long time as we continued to talk and ask questions. It is amazing how much more real it all feels now... probably because we feel more comfortable telling people now (Lynn said that once you hear heart tones, risk of miscarriage drops significantly!) and because we realize that things are actually progressing just as they should be. Little Pip is right on schedule! Guess I should expect more, especially when my life group is praying!
It made the rest of the day difficult to concentrate on anything other than that. We both called our moms to give them the update. We exchanged several emails on the magnitude of the day to us. I even caught Will simulating the "swoosh, swoosh, swoosh" sound of Pip's tiny little heart beathing away as we drove around this evening.
All in all, it was just like a beautiful Christmas morning, without a single disappointment! (but also without mom's famous sweet-petal coffee cake... mmmmm.... that sounds good! I cannot possibly be hungry AGAIN can I? Thank God I only gained 2 pounds this month!)
Monday, March 5, 2007
Letting the cat out of the bag... so to speak
As I write this, I realize it has been exactly one month ago today that I took my home pregnancy test. Crazy. This month seems to have dragged on and on!! That first day was brutal. I took the test alone on that Monday morning. I pretty much knew I was pregnant (that crazy "knowing your body" business really pays off!) and really took the test for confirmation. I guess I could never really prepare myself for that feeling of seeing two pink lines though. It was pretty surreal. I felt flat out giddy at first. I was busting at the seams and began thinking of sneaky ways to tell Will the big news. My original plan called for an elaborate scheme at Disneyland that coming Friday (since Will was taking the day off early and we were meeting friends there that evening.) It didn't take me long, however, to realize that waiting a whole week to tell him would be next to impossible! That first night, I was the only person in the world that knew this GIANT secret and it was KILLING ME! I remember that first day being consumed by it. I would think it a personal victory anytime I realized that 5 minutes had passed and I hadn't thought about the fact that I was pregnant.
That evening, I tossed and turned. I could barely look at Will without bursting! I decided (in my many waking hours of that night) that I had to tell him sooner rather than later. I just knew that I wanted it to be special!
I remembered we had bought a onsie in Maui back in December. So I wrapped it up and placed the tiny gift on the stairs so that when he got home, he would see it right away.
One the outside, it said, "Consider this an early Valentine's Day gift (or a very early birthday present)" Inside was a little card that said, "Your birthday present has been special ordered." Once he opened up the tissue underneath, he found the onsie with a note attached "Estimated Delivery, October 11th" (the original date that I had predicted, before I saw my midwife). I had also typed up a little letter from the baby to him, explaining more of how the past day or so had panned out.
Waiting for him to come home was grueling. When I finally heard the garage door, I went upstairs. I heard him come up too. He was holding the gift in his hand with a very strange expression on his face. "Am I supposed to open this?", he asked. I nodded and he proceeded. My heart was beating out of my chest. When he got to the onsie, he just looked at me with an expression of shock. We hugged and laughed. He read the letter and we cried. It was pretty amazing.
We decided to wait to tell family until after I saw my midwife for the first time. Even though she didn't really DO anything at the first appointment (other than answer my lengthy list of questions and take some urine and multiple viles of blood) it just made it all feel more real. We decided to tell everyone for Valentine's Day. We made out own valentines with two hearts on the front (and our initials) and then two big hearts on the inside (again with our initials) and one little heart underneath them. We signed it, "Love, the Parris Family!"
The first person we told was Lisa. She went with us down to South Coast Plaza that day of my appointment and we knew we couldn't keep it in. It is so difficult NOT to tell people! So, we made a prototype of the card and gave it to her that night. She didn't get it right away... no until she saw "the Parris Family." She was so excited and it was so fun to share our news!
Grant was next (I guess that is the advantage of living close by! You get the news first because otherwise, it would be really Difficult to ignore you or not let the news slip!) We gave him and Danielle (his girlfriend) the card. Grant didn't get it at first. The look on Danielle's face told us she had a hunch. We confirmed that hunch. Another one down!
I managed to avoid talking to my parents for about two weeks. I just knew I would NOT be able to talk to my mom and not tell her. I knew she would be excited to be having TWO grandbabies this year! We constucted the cards and send them out (overnight to the parents, regular mail to the siblings and grandparents... I knew that if our mothers found out through the grapevine, we would be in BIG trouble). Then, we waited! Everytime the phone rang I thought it might be someone who had just received their card. Nothing. I hate the post office. Our overnight mail got to Utah 2 days later and to Boise 3 days later. In the end, it didn't matter. Everyone was so excited and the news became more and more real with every person that we got to share it with.
Even now, there are LOTS of people who don't know. We really wanted to wait until after we heard the heart beat to tell the whole world (especially all the church folk) but as the weeks have progressed, we have become more and more comfortable with telling our friends.
I sometimes worry about the miscarriage factor but have replaced my fears and nagging concerns with mantras. Any time I get a twinge of worry (particularly when the cramps come) I just begin thanking God for this enormous blessing. I thank him for the fact that we know we can even GET pregnant (and rather easily). I thank him for every week I have had with this baby thus far. I thank him for the blessing that it is to be a woman, to learn more already about the care that he has for me based on my irrational and maternal care that I already have for this little one inside of me. It truly is a blessing. I also think that if (God forbid) something were to happen and we can't have this baby, those that have shared in our joy so far will be more able to empathize with our grief because they too feel it. Maybe it is selfish of me, but that is not something I want to go through alone.
Well, I should eat (again!)
By the way, I hope you don't feel as though you have to read everything I write here... I actually write it just as much for me as I document this journey (and for PIP to read someday) as I do for the rest of you out there to read. So, if you do read it, thanks! If you don't, know that I really don't mind.... it can feel deeply personal sometimes anyway :) Maybe it is better for me to pretend NOBODY is reading it :)
That evening, I tossed and turned. I could barely look at Will without bursting! I decided (in my many waking hours of that night) that I had to tell him sooner rather than later. I just knew that I wanted it to be special!
I remembered we had bought a onsie in Maui back in December. So I wrapped it up and placed the tiny gift on the stairs so that when he got home, he would see it right away.
One the outside, it said, "Consider this an early Valentine's Day gift (or a very early birthday present)" Inside was a little card that said, "Your birthday present has been special ordered." Once he opened up the tissue underneath, he found the onsie with a note attached "Estimated Delivery, October 11th" (the original date that I had predicted, before I saw my midwife). I had also typed up a little letter from the baby to him, explaining more of how the past day or so had panned out.
Waiting for him to come home was grueling. When I finally heard the garage door, I went upstairs. I heard him come up too. He was holding the gift in his hand with a very strange expression on his face. "Am I supposed to open this?", he asked. I nodded and he proceeded. My heart was beating out of my chest. When he got to the onsie, he just looked at me with an expression of shock. We hugged and laughed. He read the letter and we cried. It was pretty amazing.
We decided to wait to tell family until after I saw my midwife for the first time. Even though she didn't really DO anything at the first appointment (other than answer my lengthy list of questions and take some urine and multiple viles of blood) it just made it all feel more real. We decided to tell everyone for Valentine's Day. We made out own valentines with two hearts on the front (and our initials) and then two big hearts on the inside (again with our initials) and one little heart underneath them. We signed it, "Love, the Parris Family!"
The first person we told was Lisa. She went with us down to South Coast Plaza that day of my appointment and we knew we couldn't keep it in. It is so difficult NOT to tell people! So, we made a prototype of the card and gave it to her that night. She didn't get it right away... no until she saw "the Parris Family." She was so excited and it was so fun to share our news!
Grant was next (I guess that is the advantage of living close by! You get the news first because otherwise, it would be really Difficult to ignore you or not let the news slip!) We gave him and Danielle (his girlfriend) the card. Grant didn't get it at first. The look on Danielle's face told us she had a hunch. We confirmed that hunch. Another one down!
I managed to avoid talking to my parents for about two weeks. I just knew I would NOT be able to talk to my mom and not tell her. I knew she would be excited to be having TWO grandbabies this year! We constucted the cards and send them out (overnight to the parents, regular mail to the siblings and grandparents... I knew that if our mothers found out through the grapevine, we would be in BIG trouble). Then, we waited! Everytime the phone rang I thought it might be someone who had just received their card. Nothing. I hate the post office. Our overnight mail got to Utah 2 days later and to Boise 3 days later. In the end, it didn't matter. Everyone was so excited and the news became more and more real with every person that we got to share it with.
Even now, there are LOTS of people who don't know. We really wanted to wait until after we heard the heart beat to tell the whole world (especially all the church folk) but as the weeks have progressed, we have become more and more comfortable with telling our friends.
I sometimes worry about the miscarriage factor but have replaced my fears and nagging concerns with mantras. Any time I get a twinge of worry (particularly when the cramps come) I just begin thanking God for this enormous blessing. I thank him for the fact that we know we can even GET pregnant (and rather easily). I thank him for every week I have had with this baby thus far. I thank him for the blessing that it is to be a woman, to learn more already about the care that he has for me based on my irrational and maternal care that I already have for this little one inside of me. It truly is a blessing. I also think that if (God forbid) something were to happen and we can't have this baby, those that have shared in our joy so far will be more able to empathize with our grief because they too feel it. Maybe it is selfish of me, but that is not something I want to go through alone.
Well, I should eat (again!)
By the way, I hope you don't feel as though you have to read everything I write here... I actually write it just as much for me as I document this journey (and for PIP to read someday) as I do for the rest of you out there to read. So, if you do read it, thanks! If you don't, know that I really don't mind.... it can feel deeply personal sometimes anyway :) Maybe it is better for me to pretend NOBODY is reading it :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
