Saturday, August 9, 2008

one more video...

From Disneyland! Here we are riding on Dumbo. If you listen closely you can hear them yell at Will to turn around... classic!!

Disneyland and all things happy!

I will be the first to admit that this mommy business is far from easy. There are some days that I truly lament not having the ability to do what I want, when I want anymore. I often find myself tired and cranky, trying to squeeze housework and church work into the tiny crevices of time where the little scooter is sleeping. Then I debate for a few minutes whether my time would be best spent prepping for Sunday, prepping for lunch with a very messy one-year old or just getting a shower in for me. It is difficult to decide what truly needs my attention.

In spite of all of that, I realize how much FUN we are having with our little girl. As she gets older she is so much more interactive and SUCH a little ham. I cannot get over her gummy little smile (yep, she still has NO TEETH!! We are not worried though. Hopefully it will keep us from a few bills at the dentist's office in the coming years since they are currently being protected from the elements where they are). I know I am biased but I am quite certain that she could melt even the most stony of hearts with that sweet smile... and I mean the REAL smile (she does have a courtesy smile as while that is cute, but just not the same!) I am talking about the one that we get when she first sees us in the morning or when she realizes she is about to eat or the belly laugh that she gives us when she senses destruction (I know, it is frightening!) She just makes me so HAPPY.

Seeing as how it has been so incredibly long since I have posted, I should backtrack to June when we had a VERY happy day at the Magic Kingdom. We took Charlie to Disneyland for the first time. It was so great. I really expected her to melt down in the early afternoon but she was such a trooper. She really enjoyed everything and seemed to just take it all in. We rode dumbo first (which she seemed unsure of at first but warmed up to when I dropped him quickly from up high. She is such an adrenaline junky!) and then Casey Jr. We met up with Aunt Lisa before hitting the carousel and Buzz Lightyear. We also went to meet Mickey at his house and checked out the Tiki Room. Of course daddy wanted to do a photo shoot in front of the castle too. They are seriously my favorite pictures I think I have ever seen. They really capture the magic of the day. We also spent a little bit of time at California Adventure before calling it a day. I can't wait to take her back again someday soon.

Here are some pictures and hopefully even some video from the day...


This is Charlie's first visit with Mickey (she seems pretty unsure)



And here she is chatting up a storm while we waited for a table at the winery in California Adventure.





And here are her pictures from her photo shoot with daddy... love them!










That is all for tonight... too tired to post all that I need to. I hope to do more of that this weekend.

There is much to update you on, including 1st birthday fun :) Until then...

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Our full life...

So, I have begun to realize that we have truly become "those neighbors." I had always hoped to avoid such labels. No luck though. I think it has become inevitable. The house next door has been on the market for several months now... could be that the economy is just THAT bad, that the house needs some work... OR it could be that nobody wants to live next to people like US; people who leave their Christmas lights up all year long. I cringe just typing that.

Here we are in June and our Christmas lights are still up. On top of that, our lawn hasn't been mowed in weeks and the weeds are starting to take over the rose garden. On the one hand, I lament the fact that I underestimated the "joys" of homeownership and the small task of raising a child. It just feels as though the to-do list grows and grows. On the other hand, I have begun to see these things as a mark of the fullness of our lives right now. It is a crazy, happy, overwhelming kind of full... and I am not sure we know how to live any other way (furthermore, I am not sure if we want to).

I know I have missed out on so much posting here in the blog... another mark of our insanely busy life. I wish that I had been able to sit down more and just process what all is going on in my head these days but I am not even sure I could make heads or tails of it all.

The beginning of May got me thinking a lot about motherhood as I celebrated my first "official" Mother's Day. It is so hard to believe how much has happened in this past year. Looking at Charlie now, it is truly amazing to think of how far we have all come. Talk about baptism by fire. I think Will and I have learned more about what it means to be parents in this first year than we ever could have anticipated. The level of vulnerability is hard to describe to anyone who has yet to have kids. It is just such as massive weight. We were reminded of this the week before mother's day when Charlie got really ill with a terrible cough. It was bad enough that her pediatrician wanted us to get a chest x-ray done. Of course, to get that, we had to go over to CHOC.. to the second floor, Radiology... right next to the NICU.
Parking in the structure, walking through the lobby doors, riding the elevator up, it was all so reminiscent of a whole other lifetime for us. This time, however, was certainly different. This time. we weren't holding our breath in fear of hearing bad news, we weren't leaving our child in the care of others for nights on end... this time, we were coming and LEAVING with our baby. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a FUN trip (seriously, if you ever have to get a chest x-ray to an infant, beware the medieval torture devise that they use for it... and make sure that they get a decent picture so you don't have to try to get the screaming and traumatized infant BACK into the contraption for round two!) but it was certainly easier than having to say goodbye to her every day for two months. How far we have come... how different life is now... how fun, how full....

I think about being a mom and, in spite of all the pain and fear we have experienced, I think motherhood is, by far, the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Charlie is so much fun right now. She sings and babbles ALL the time. It cracks us up. She loves to feed herself (finger foods are her favorite, she currently loves chicken, watermelon and black beans) and she is now rolling and scooting all over the place (in reverse, but that still counts!) She also waves and (sometimes) will do high 5's. My favorite though is the "ooh, oooh, oooh" monkey-noise that she makes anytime she gets excited. Sleeping from 9PM until about 6:30AM everyday is also a beautiful thing. She is even getting better about her naps during the day. It is all starting to make me realize how fast time is going by and how quickly she is growing up. Watching her shovel food into her mouth and chit-chat with us in between bites makes me laugh but it also reminds me of how big she is getting. I have to check myself sometimes and remember that she IS coming up on her first birthday (rather quickly) but it just doesn't seem possible that our tiny, sweet 2lb, 8oz preemie is now nearly 16 pounds and chock-full of personality. I couldn't even begin to describe how grateful I am for her. She has made us a family. I can't imagine what life was even like before she came. Not nearly as fun (or full) as it is now.

So, on my first Mother's Day, I took some time to just hold my sweet girl and rock her to sleep (while she will still let me). I tried to breathe her in and tuck away every detail of her and just be conscious of what an enormous blessing it is to be a mom... to be Charlie's mom.

Mother's Day was also baby dedication day at church and we got to dedicate Charlie (along with 8 of her little friends!!) It was a busy Sunday. In addition to baby dedication, Will took family pictures at church (a special gift for moms) and I actually did a little sermonette (of sorts) that Sunday. It went well, well enough that there is discussion of me doing it again, possibly even a full sermon and all by my lonesome (I told them not to get carried away!! :)) We then went to a late lunch at Roy's Hawaiian Fusion (so yum!!) and then I asked Will to do a quite shoot (of sorts) of the girl and me. She is so stinking photogenic! Seriously... she is the cutest little girl.

And as proof... here are some MUCH overdue pictures... these are all from my first official Mother's Day :)










Friday, March 21, 2008

How time flies...

I can hardly believe I have an 8 month old daughter. It just doesn't seem real sometimes. I don't even know how to describe this journey of motherhood either. Sometimes it is so excrutiating and I find myself feeling nothing but frazzled. Then, at the end of the day, as she is sleeping next to me, I can't help but marvel at how amazing she is and how much I love her. At that moment in time, she is the sweetest little dream I could ever imagine. It certainly isn't always that way but the good certainly outweighes the bad most days.

She is doing so well... she poops a little more frequently (and therefore, in less quantity, which I am grateful for). We haven't been in for a weigh in in awhile, mainly because she is done going into the RSV clinic now. Looks like we made it through the season without any major sickness. Her last appointment was the 29th of February. That day really felt like we had come full circle. I was no longer headed into the clinic as a scared new mom with my tiny preemie baby. I realized that I feel so much more confident. Charlie has grown so much and seems to be learning something new everyday. I guess slowly but surely I am starting to feel like a NORMAL mom, not just a preemie mom. It is nice.

We did the usual waiting room thing and waited forever to get weighed and see the neonatologist before the big S-h-o-t (yes I spell it out, even though I know she doesn't really know what I am talking about). She weighed in at just about 13 pounds even. I guess we are OFICIALLY into 3-6 month old clothes :) Then the Dr. came in to see us. I was surprised to see that it was the same neonatologist that came in just before Charlie was born to tell me about what we could expect with a 28 weeker. I remember him being very calm that day and giving me lots of good information. He also made me feel so much more confident about little Pip's odds of survival at that time. When I saw him walk back through the door I felt like I was seeing an old friend (even though I am sure he didn't recognize me from Adam). When I told him how I remembered him he said that I was probably one of his last patients over at St. Joe's because he now only works at the clinc. He said he really enjoys that job because he has been doing this for over 20 years. He says that babies Charlie's size didn't used to do this well. He said he is just amazed at how well they do now days and that seeing them in the clinic is really encouraging to him. He then went on to say that Charlie looks GREAT. He said he was so pleased with her progress and that her lungs and airways sound amazing. He said that there is no reason to be terribly concerned anymore. It was so good to hear his take because it confirmed my blooming belief that I was a little more like a regular MOM now.. not JUST a preemie mom.

In terms of her development, I am amazed. She is in such a fun stage right now. She loves to chat with us (especially when she is on her changing table) and she LOVES her exersaucer (thanks to Angela and Carson for letting her borrow it!) She gets REALLY excited when she is in there. I think she feels like such a big girl. Rice cereal is also going well. She took to it pretty much the second day of trying. I swear she can't get enough. I have started to give it to her twice a day now. We will probably try real veggies in a few weeks. Last week, her development teacher did her 6 month assessment for the center. She will go in for a formal, three hour session in April (when she is actually 6 months adjusted age) but she did well on this first run through. She is pretty much able to sit alone (although still pretty tippy) and she can play peek-a-boo and find toys that have been partially hidden. She rolls from her tummy to her back (but not really the other way yet) and she puts a lot of weight on her feet when you try to stand her up. She is a lot of fun.

As always, I am way behind on pictures... we have to figure out a better system cause I never get my hands on the pictures that have been taken (and trust me, there is no shortage of them!) For now, I thought I would try to get caught up on stuff that I really wanted to post about a long time ago... like our awesome showers :)

The first shower we had was thrown by our friends, the Kings. They went with us on our "babymoon" to Hawaii (we had such a blast!! We want to go back... like now!) and then they threw us a Hawaiian themed couple's shower. It was so awesome and Jude made some sweet signs and candle holders that looked like outriggers. It was a great night, with great food and even a little hula dancing (thanks to our Wahine friend, Erin, who grew up hulaing) Here are some fun pics of the day. What a great time! The only thing that would have made it better is if our sweet girl had been with us.














And then my sister-in-law, Lisa, and our friends Marsha and Amy threw me a gorgeous shower... it was a little more traditional and girly but it was neat because my grandfather and Will were also there. The other thing that was super great about this shower is that Charlie was actually HOME for this one! It was the first time many of our friends got to see her in person. It is crazy how little she was then! It was a beautiful shower and an all-around great day!












Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Paying my dues

From the very beginning, I have always felt as though this mom thing was like a big sorority... you are either in or out of the club. You either get it or you don't and, until you are actually a mom yourself you don't "get it." I often felt like those moms that were already a part of the sorority made it out to be a bigger deal than it actually was, that it couldn't possibly be THAT difficult. I figure you pay your initial dues (the nausea, the vomitting, the enormous ankles and then delivery) and then you are a member for life. Boy was I wrong. Very, very wrong.

It turns out that there are several dues to be paid. Every day there is some new twist or turn to this mom thing and it gets more fun (and yet all the more complicated) each time. I have a feeling that I have a lifetime of dues yet to pay and each day I am just making a small, seemingly insignificant, contribution to the overall payment.

Today was one of those days where I cashed in some pretty HUGE dues. It was one of THOSE days. I will begin by saying that the last few weeks have been a little rough for us. Will was sick with a cold, then I got what I self-diagnosed as the stomach flu and all the while I worried that Charlie (who has remained relatively unscathed in this season of sickness) would get everything we got. She did finally seem to get a touch of my illness (the week after Valentine's day) and had several poopy diapers in one day (which is a stark contrast to her usual bowel movement every 3 or 4 days). By the next day, she seemed back to normal. Fast forward then to yesterday where we were going on day 11 of still NO poop. (from one extreme to another!)
I called the pediatrician and they recommended prune juice. I was leary just because she had never had juice before and had been only on breast milk (and 2 days worth of rice cereal!) up until this point. I checked out the La Leche websites and they said that it was completely normal for a breastfed baby to poop once every 7-10 days even. I figured I would give it one more day and see what happened.
This morning, IT happened. She had the largest, most awful poop, just as we were getting ready to head out the door. It was so bad that she was COVERED in it from head to toe (well, at least ears to ankles!) It was so bad that my warped little mind actually thought... man, I wish Will were here to take pictures of this... it has to be some sort of record for the most poop to come out of such a small being.) I too did not escape. I swear I had it up to my elbows. Then, as I was using half the case of baby wipes to clean her up and removing her brand new (and now unsalvageable) outfit, she tipped to the side and hit her head on the wall... of course, that was met with extreme displeasure on her part but, obviously, I had no way of cuddling and consoling her as she was still caked with poop. Half an hour (and a box of baby wipes, plus a hose down and a bath) later, she was fresh and a daisy and we were ready to be on our way. However, the experience still haunts me. Some days, motherhood really is a baptism by fire (or by crap, as the case may be)...

It was horrific. I called Will when I FINALLY got out the door and told him, "I cannot even begin to tell you exactly how sad I am that you did not stick around this morning for 10 minutes more." That much poop is definitely a 2 person job!

I also told him that I wouldn't be terribly surprised if we ended up finding remnants of the debacle in the coming days... maybe in her crevices, her folds, her ears... God only knows!! One thing I do know is that I sincerely doubt I will be able to participate in the "Club Mud" experience at Glen Ivy any time soon... too much similarity in the entire process. It could give me flashbacks!

She spent the rest of the day (as she does each Tuesday) with Aunt Lisa as I went into the office. Reports are that she was happy and talkative the rest of the day (wouldn't you be?) So, this ends "Charlie's poop watch 2008." I hope it is the last... although if it isn't we are seriously going to have to do something about her diet. I can't do that every week and a half!

Speaking of the diet, she has (as I mentioned above) started rice cereal (which makes the above story all that more disgusting as we all know (well, at least those in the "sorority" certainly know) that adding anything to baby's diet other than breastmilk makes their poop all the more stinky!) The first day she didn't seem to know what to make of it, the second day, however, she went at it like a champ. She ate all of it that we made up. I can hardly believe that we are into this stage already. I feels like just when you master one stage, it is time to move on. I am not sure I am really feeling ready to move ahead, but sometimes you have no choice! I do know that I want to make her baby food so I need to invest in a good steamer and some freezing containers (they have some cool ones that are intended specifically for baby food making!) Several moms I know have done it so I am grateful to have their encouragement. I just think I would feel better about knowing exactly what she is getting and I know it would be a ton cheaper than buying baby food. Plus, I think it is probably better for the environment because there is less waste if I use reusable containers. :) It is a win-win- win!

So, there you have it... my most recent "mommy-dues" payment. I know that I have a TON more to come but I have to say that it is still the best sorority in the world to be a part of and all those dues I have been paying are completely worth it. How could they NOT be? Look at that face!!!!

Monday, February 4, 2008

My oh my...

I can't believe how bad I am at keeping up here! I know that a lot of people have stopped even looking here for updates because they know by now that I am just notoriously bad at keeping this blog updated! I hope to start doing a better job of keeping up, mainly just because I don't feel like I can afford to take so much time off. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing home our sweet, 4 pound baby girl and worrying about getting her to eat a full ounce each feeding and praying that she would grow. Now, it feels as thoughCharlie is growing at light speed, a fact that is both exciting and scary all at the same time. She gets more and more beautiful each day. She also gets more and more fun. She is such a kick right now. She laughs a lot but her belly laughs are tough to get and are, by far, the most wonderful sound I have ever heard in my entire life. She also smiles all the time. It is the kind of smile that is one day going to get both Will and me into a ton of trouble because I know that we both melt completely when we see it.
Charlie just had a 6 month check up a week or so ago. She weighed in at a healthy 12lbs and 3 oz... nearly 10 pounds heavier than she was when she was born. She is also now 24 1/2 inches long and has made it onto the growth chart for her height! She is in the 10th percentile, but we will take it!
We made it through the holidays and really enjoyed her first Christmas. It was still a little more crazy than I had hoped but it was just about what we had expected seeing as how we had 2 weddings and Christmas to cope with. I will write more about that when I get the pictures onto my computer.
I am back at work now and that is presenting its own set of challenges. Luckily, I can work from home most of the week. I work my usual Sunday morning stuff and then go into the office on Tuesdays (when Charlie's Aunt Lisa watches her... a time I think they both really enjoy and look forward to) and then I go into the office on Thursday afternoons and the girl goes with me. So fa it is working out really well but I think a big part of that has to do with the fact that she is so good. The day I went back to work, I spent the entire evening reading BabyWise to see if I could get her onto some sort of schedule and be able to get more done at home. It was educational and a little stringent for me but it did have a lot of good stuff to say. I feel like I could write a lengthy review and an entire blog entry just on what I feel about various parenting styles right now but I won't get too into that. Essentially, I have just decided to take a little from here and a bit from there to come up with what I feel is a perfect parenting style for US. Charlie is on a good schedule now (she eats every three hours, goes down for a nap after she has been up for about 2 hours and then sleeps for about an hour or so). At night, she now sleeps about 5-7 hours... usually going down just after 9 and then gets up at about 3 or 4 to eat again. Sometimes she sleeps all the way through to 7am but that usually doesn't happen but once a week. We will take it when it comes though!!
What I really can't believe is that it was one year ago today that I told Will that I was pregnant and one year ago yesterday that I got a + pregnancy test and my life changed forever. I often miss being pregnant (particularly because half our church body is expecting right now... you think I am exagerating, right? There are at least 10 people that I know of having babies some time in the next 9 months. It is crazy!) but figuring out if I ever want to do this kind of thing again is a whole 'nother blog post in and of itself. I have much writing and catching up to do!!!
In the meantime, here are a few pictures to keep you happy for now :) Eventually we will catch up!!!

Here are some from the fall... Charlie's first USC game against Washington State (I know, I know... we chanced it and took her to a large group gathering. BUT she didn't get sick!!!!) She went to another one too in November. I think she was all of 5lbs when we went. Now, looking back, I am not surprised so many people looked at us like she was the smallest thing they had ever seen!




And her second game (she didn't sleep nearly as much during this game... it was homecoming, afterall!!)




Here are some pictures from the fall of Charlie after she started smiling (it was quite a game trying to capture her smiles on film... now it is pretty easy. Then, not so much!) These were all taken around the middle of November.





And here are a few pictures from Charlie's first Halloween and first Thanksgiving. We couldn't be more grateful for our little family!!